May 6, 2005

i wouldn’t touch that with a ten foot long spoon

It annoys me when people are unnecessarily revolted by practices with which they are not familiar, so much so that I will go out of my way to make said person uncomfortable. The results are conversations much like this one from Wednesday:

Me: *Eating peanut butter off of a spoon*

Joel: *Face contorts into an inhuman grimace*
Joel: “Man, that’s *#$%king disgusting, why don’t you just eat a big spoonful of poop.”

Me: “Because it doesn’t come in plastic jars.

At which point Joel went into convulsions.

No Comments »

  1. just an fyi….he hates peanuts…he hates most nuts…which explains why he is going out with me :-)

    Comment by nicole — May 6, 2005 @ 4:51 pm

  2. something like this happened to me today.

    me: let’s go to the gym.
    anon: i have to take a shower first, i stink.
    me: put some deoderant on and let’s go.
    anon: WHAT?!?! that’s fucking sick.

    honestly, i’m still trying to figure out why that’s disgusting.

    Comment by ug — May 6, 2005 @ 6:38 pm

  3. I considered not saying this, but seeing this post – draped in its dark curtain of lies – I can remain silent no longer! This conversation is a sham! Though based upon real conversations between Joel Tiberius Conary and Red I-Am-A-Lying-Dirty-Guttersnipe Wagner, my roommate has stooped to the level of inserting his so-called “witty” remark AFTER the actual conversation took place! The gall! The arrogance! FOR SHAME!

    Comment by Joel — May 8, 2005 @ 12:27 am

  4. well look at you. I-Am-A-Lying-Dirty-Guttersnipe is not my middle name and you know it.

    Comment by Red — May 8, 2005 @ 1:01 am

  5. Poop comes in a can you idiot.

    Hence the name shitcanned.

    I enjoy making things up.

    I’m the president of Xuwatu.

    I have diamonds for sale and your name was given to me by a reliable source. Please send me 2 billion dollars and I will send you a can of poop. Hidden in the can will be a diamond about the size of a peanut. Of course, that could very well be a peanut. I reccomend washing the diamond before bringing it to your local jewler. Usually the going rate for little bits of corn is much lower then one had hoped.

    And you thought you had an ugly engagement ring…

    Comment by Patrick — May 17, 2005 @ 10:34 pm

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