July 21, 2003


“met her at the star wars convention
did I mention, she was looking for love?
had to call her bluff, lady you don’t mean how that sounded
(the thousand-pound dude in the ‘no fat chicks’ shirt’s astounded)
thought she’d take it back, revoke, rescind, rewind, retract
ya heard me, she said, I want any man here
to descend in the cave where you conquer the fear
and I’ll steer you to side of the force that you choose
somebody’s man enough here — now who?

This girl, now you have to understand,
would not look out of place on the arm of an attractive man
so the geeks in attendance got jaws on the floor, one extends his
saber but he tripped on his cloak, I stepped to the front then I spoke
I ain’t spitting game, look I got a wookie hat on,
but these guys here are used to gettin’ spat on
by girls, see you put em in shock.
And this ain’t the right con to quote mister spock
but it’s highly illogical to me. Girl looked in my eye, said is your mind free?

Cause I got something for you
it is shiny, it is clean
Come on up and I’ll adore you
with my yellow laser beam

sitting in her room upstairs,
watching her wind up the buns in her hair
I declare that I’d like to be luke,
unless that’s a little bit too perverted for you
I could be jaba, a jawa, an ewok, when we talk “oo ga la gee bla!”
wait — I seen all the flicks, all the books that I read,
don’t remember any character tied to the bed
but that’s all right, I’ma just pretend that I’m encased in carbonite
and why that’s a nice gold bikini, you make that?
shows off what you got, make no mistake that’s
one fine view of chewbacca you’re giving me
lower that down here, we could be living the
linguistic lifesyle of the protocol droid.”

-MC Frontalot “Yellow Lasers” (Note: there is more to this song, but it’s not safe for mixed company.)

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