October 31, 2004

proof reading is for the weak

Blech, head cold + coughing equals Blech.

Creativity, motivation, and the urge to show up for class, gym, or work all are severely lacking. Hoping a freak power outage or scary mutant turtles with the powers of many ninjas will stop classes from happening tomorrow and I will be allowed to lie in bed undisturbed and watch my favorite bad movies.

Been listening to the Toadies a lot recently, I’d forgotten they existed.

Team America : World police was funny. I wouldn’t recommend that any relatives see it. If you’re not related to me, go watch it, it’s hilarious.

A quote of the moment from Trey Parker on the difficulties of making a movie with often heady (definition #2) and egocentric marionettes:

“You could threaten to kill my family and I would not make another puppet movie. If my mother would die if I would not make another puppet movie, she’d be dead. I’m totally serious.”

I finally saw Tron a couple days ago with Byron. That movie gets a huge “wow” rating from me, this is a classic sick day movie and as a Computer Engineering major it’s absolutely hilarious. A super computer that’s smart enough that it’s on the verge of taking over the company that created it and it still ends it’s sentences with “end of line?” Bloody Brilliant. Also, how cool is Jeff Bridges? Plays rebel programmer Flynn in Tron then later goes on to play no other than “The Dude” in The Big Lebowski. What else could you ask for from an acting career?

I’m going to make some tea, read some more philosophy, and snort some Ny-Quil.

Look ma, no proof reading.

October 28, 2004

bad news?

A plumber came in and fixed our sink, which had been clogged the past couple days. The following is a dialogue which occured right after he was done fixing it:

Plumber: “Do you want the bad news or the good news.”

Joel & I: Good news

Plumber: “Well, the good news is your sink’s fixed. The bad news is you have to do your dishes.”

October 27, 2004

finished my homework early, so I get to write…

Today, walking out of my Philosophy class at 11 in the morning, I was welcomed by a gray, cold, rainy day when all of a sudden a guy rides by me on a bike.

This wouldn’t have been so weird if they guy on the bicycle had been wearing a shirt. This misplaced gentleman was riding through the rain in 50 degree weather wearing nothing but a pair of board shorts and flip flops.

It’s not like Cal Poly is biking distance to the beach, so he wasn’t coming back from an early morning surf trip. The guy is just hard core. What the hell would make you do that? As far as I can tell, there’s only one possibility:

He’s a senior, scheduled to graduate this quarter, all he has to do is pass one last class and today he was scheduled to make an hour long presentation and he woke up late. Drowsily he sat in bed, warm and dreaming of happy days when all of a sudden his leg jerks him awake and he just knows it: “I’M LATE!!!” he screams in wide eyed terror, even before looking at the alarm clock, he then turns his head and confirms he needed to leave for class thirty minutes ago. Running before his feet even hit the ground and wearing only his lucky board shorts, which he sleeps in, he leaps from his bed and out of his room where his female roommate stops him at the door, “You can’t go outside like that, it’s fifty degrees out and you’re not even wearing a shirt!”

“Shirt? SHIRT!!! SHIRT!!!!???? I don’t have time for a GOD DAMN shirt!!!” he screams maniacally, barely maintaining consciousness as his blood pressure rockets to a level that would crush the HMS Conqueror, bursting through the door with only the briefest of stops to throw on his flip flops. He bites through the U-Lock of a bike that just happens to be right outside his door and off he goes into the gray, cold, rainy day.

October 22, 2004

victory is mine

Thursday, October 21st 2004 is a day that shall live forever in the hearts and minds of each and every occupant of the 4th apartment at 830 Boysen Ave; On this day, after exactly eighteen thousand, four hundred and sixty nine games, Joel Tiberius Conary LOST a game of foosball for the first time since joining into a rental agreement with his roommate, one Mr. “I Rule Joel Like A Small European Country” Wagner. This will more than likely result in a series of such victories in the near future. The floodgates are open, and Joel’s going to have to hide a lot further away then across the hall to escape the talent that flares upward from my body like flames from a phoenix.

The game in question was an impressive showing on my part. After absolutely, criminally embarrassing Joel for a good portion of the game, the score stood at nine to five, I needed only one point to end his very life. At this point Joel staged a heroic, but pointless, rally that ran the score all the way up to 13-12, when I finally put an end to his misery by establishing the necessary two point lead to declare a victory in my name.

Some will claim that Mr. Conary was having an “off game,” that his “shoulder hurt,” or that he “went temporarily blind.” These people should be viewed exactly as they are: Fascist Nazis trying to crush one red-headed man’s unbounded joy at having so heartily beaten one of the most arrogant, puppy hating demons to have ever played the game.

Joel T. Conary could not be reached for comment.

October 20, 2004

that’ll be two bucks, chuck

I should be at the gym right now. I got up early to go before class, I was sporting my gym shorts and my gym undershorts, my face set in a grim determination, ready to endure pain and sweatiness on the way to my ultimate goal of good health and hotness, when I stepped out of my apartment into a beautiful day only to discover that my bike’s rear tire is flatter than I care to think about. Without enough time to walk to the gym and back before class, I took my bike across the street to the bike store where I had a coupon to get a flat tire changed for $2. Normally I’d change the tire myself, but you can’t argue with two dollars. I couldn’t get anybody I know to change my tire for two dollars, trying to get somebody to get you a glass of water just because you’re lazy would cost you more than two bucks. Good stuff. There’s only one other thing I can think of I’ve paid only two greenbacks for that I really got my money’s worth out of.

October 15, 2004

screw reagan, just say yes

If drugs aren’t the answer, maybe you’re asking the wrong question. If you’re saying to yourself, “Where are my keys,” then of course drugs aren’t the answer. However, if you’re asking, “What’s going to stop my nose from running?” then drugs, specifically Ny-Quil, are definitely the answer.

October 13, 2004

at least nobody noticed

On my first day in my photography class, the professor brought out a slide machine to show us his work. The room that our class is held in is windowless, so as he turned off the lights we were enveloped in the kind of darkness I’d formerly supposed was reserved for death or processing film. Despite the fact that I couldn’t see my classmates, after watching slides for a while I became so engrossed in what I was seeing that I gradually lost awareness of my surroundings. It was at this point that the professor asked if any of us had used a medium format camera before.

And there I sat, hand raised in complete darkness.

October 12, 2004

the current orc alert is orange

Did you like Lord of the Rings? Do you hate Michael Moore? Do you just love a good satire? If any or all of these are the case, you might want to check out “Fellowship 9/11,” the first movie I’ve ever seen that referred to the hobbits as “an elite group of special forces.”

So, what’s it all about?

“Moore considers the reign of the son of Arathorn and where it has led us. He looks at how – and why – Aragorn and his inner circle avoided pursuing the Saruman connection to Helms Deep, despite the fact that 9 out of every 10 Orcs that attacked the castle were actually Uruk-hai who were spawned in and financed by Isengard.”

Please note that there is a direct correlation between how funny one finds Fellowship 9/11 and how much of a geek they actually are. You’ve been warned.

October 11, 2004

i’ll sequentially design somethin’ somethin’

I just gave up on my sequential circuit design hw for the evening AGAIN. It’s five problems and I know they’re easy, but I just don’t remember what I need to remember from a class I took three years ago and it just kills me to stare at the paper and have absolutely no idea what I’m supposed to do with this thing.

What I really need is a tutor for this class, but it’s an upper division class so I can’t get one for free and finding a good paid tutor would be expensive and time consuming.

Maybe when I look at it tomorrow something will click….

For now though, I’m going to sleep that I might take my agression out on the treadmill in ze morning.

Goodnight Moon.

October 8, 2004

that answer almost made me scowl

Thanks to ASI classifieds, I’ve added another electronic device to my already formidable stable. For $10, I became the proud owner of an HP ScanJet 3300c, complete with cables and even the driver cd. I’m finally able to share some of the prints I’ve made in my black and white photography class. You can click on either picture to view a larger version:

Lauren On The BeachI took this at the beach in Santa Monica. We drove out to the beach 3 times to get this picture, but I’m satisfied with the results.

Lauren On The BeachThis was my final project for my first B&W photo class this past spring.

I’m listening to the second presidential debate on NPR and I have to say that Bush’s the most quotable out of the two of them. Kerry is so dry and on the money, while Bush’s little remarks are worth putting on a T-shirt. My favorite line thus far is the title of this entry.

October 7, 2004

finally a book that I can relate to

I was reading on amazon about a book by Joshua Braff, whose brother you might know from Scrubs or Garden State, when I discovered the most convincing book review in all of history since the invention of the printing press:

“The latest book from Josh Braff is an excellent read and a “must-read” for any Jews growing up in the 70’s, as his description of the struggles with religion, culture, and parental pleasing are painfully raw and true. Josh Braff just might be the next Phillip Roth, in that Jew-from-Jersey-kind of way. ”
-Julie Weckstein (from here.)

The next time I meet any Jews growing up in the 70’s, I’m going to let them know Joshua Braff has a book they might be interested in.

October 6, 2004

beware the blogosphere

I updated the links on the right side of the page for a couple reasons. First off, every one of the “Mis Amigos” links now points to a valid website. Secondly, I added a couple new blogs, specifically Nicole’s and Danner’s, as well as Ryan’s new blog, which he’s actually updating regularly and I suggest you check out.

If you’re the type of person who needs reasons to check things out then I will say that Nicole’s blog has the most impressive use of yellow I’ve ever seen and Ryan’s blog not only has a very familiar looking title, but was the place where the term “Culinary Orgasm” originated.

On a separate note, I created an amazon.com wishlist and added it to the right side of this website just below Mis Amigos. If you’ve got cash lying around and think I’m the best thing since pineapple was first put on pizza, you now know what to buy me. Since it’s connected to my amazon.com wishlist it updates automatically whenever I change it over at amazon, so unlike certain parts of my website, it will never go stagnant.

Please notice, before you buy me anything else, I NEED SOCKS.

October 5, 2004

really?

“You’d be surprised at the rage that runs beneath these calm waters.”

“Well, i think i will always say that the democrat won because of obvious reasons, but they both did pretty well. It is always surprising and impressive to see a republican politician who is coherent.” [In reference to the Vice Presidential debate]

-Shana H.

Shana’s made of solid gold, I don’t know why I don’t talk to her more often.

October 4, 2004

i paused the movie to write this down

“Talent is luck,
the important thing in life is courage.”
-Woody Allen

This line is from one of the opening scenes to Manhattan. I’m still watching it, I just paused the movie to write this down.

i don’t need no stinkin electricity…

Q: How many members of the Bush administration does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None. There’s nothing wrong with that light bulb. It has served us honorably. When you say it’s burned out, you’re giving encouragement to the forces of darkness. Once we install a light bulb, we never, ever change it. Real men don’t need artificial light.

The preceeding joke was sent to me by one mister Ryan Kayrell. I can’t find any other source for it.

Any politically oriented commentary you’ve noticed recently has been spurred on almost exclusively by the writings of one mister Danner, whose blog I’ve come to know through one Rachel G. He seems like a cool guy, but I’ve never met somebody with such an easily flammible passion for the conservative point of view and well, it gets me riled up.

So Danner, you get the first ever conservative quote of the moment on watchred.com:

“Newsflash jimmy… iraq is nothing like vietnam–a war which we were winning, by the way, until pinko leftists (it would be an insult to communists everywhere to group you along with them) like yourself started whining about how horrible america was.”
-Danner (in reference to a quote made by former president Jimmy Carter)

Se?or Danner, tu tiene huevos grandes.

hella.

October 3, 2004

this site should be called watchredprocrastinate.com

I was doing my hw, but now I’m posting in an attempt to make my homework feel cocky and unsolvable, so that I may spring on it while it’s off guard.

For those of you who don’t know, Lauren’s sister Katie is getting married in the Spring, so Lauren spent the day today shopping for bridesmaid dresses and even managed to take pictures of them to share with the world. Here is my favorite, though it’s by no means Katie’s choice (please excuse the poor photoshop job, the front of the dress was dark in the original.):

Lauren's bridesmaid dress
Me gusta.

On a side note, if you’re not too enamored with either of the mainstream presidential candidates, you can always vote Jon Stewart for President.

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