Joel’s wedding. He’s been bugging me about writing a blog post non-stop ever since he tied the knot and it’s pretty much driving me nuts. The thing is, I don’t normally do step-by-step re-tellings of a weekend’s happenings, because more often than not, that kind of stuff is boring. It’s the reason you don’t read your family’s emails. I don’t care that baby boop’s bowel movements are solidifying in comparison to two months ago, in fact, I don’t want to hear about defecation unless it involves monkeys and beehive hairdo’s.
But it I guess Joel only gets one wedding and I suppose as the best man it would be rude not to post more about it, sooo….
Ze Rehearsal Dinner
They told us to meet at Nicole’s parents place at 5:30. As it turns out, the reservation wasn’t until 6:30 and the restaurant was literally 5 minutes away. What kind of people make you cut your nap short by fifty-five minutes? I’ll tell you what kind: bad, bad people. But there was beer at Nicole’s parents, and that made it better.
The restaurant, Matteo’s, was of an Italian persuasion and it was quite delicious. Nicole’s father and I decided that the sea bass could only accurately be described as life changing. Bambi used to give me nightmares as a kid, so I had the veal. There was also free wine. Well, not free, but I didn’t have to pay. Yay for not being Joel’s parents.
So I dropped the ring.
Ok, it wasn’t during the ceremony, but still it definitely fell and caused many to panic. I won’t bother trying to describe the ring in detail, a picture is the only way you can really comprehend it, but essentially it’s a ring inside a ring, which results in nothing holding the inner ring down within the ring-box. What this means is that the sprung design of the box essentially makes it a very effective catapult. Points for me.
Pastor Mike said boob and sex during the ceremony. He also mentioned The Princess Bride. He’s pretty much my hero.
After the ceremony, there were hor’dourves and an open bar. Ordering a Vodka Tonic when you meant Vodka Collins is quite disappointing.
My Best Man’s speech was rock solid. Afterwords, men wanted to be me and women just wanted me. It was awesome. I couldn’t go to the bathroom without being complimented. For the rest of the reception I had Joel carry me on his back. There was dinner and an open bar. When you sit at the head table people bring you free booze. You don’t even have to stand up to get blitzed at no cost to you. Again, not really free, but yay for not being Nicole’s parents.
Jackie’s speech could be described as being *cough* concise.
The reception was surprisingly short, but it turns out it was only the setup for…
Holy Christ was this party rocking. Great catered food, pool table, jacuzzi, and to continue with the weekend’s theme, every type of booze you’ve never wanted right at your fingertips.
Congratulations to Joel and Nicole, and thanks for letting me be a part of your wedding.
PS. If you’re wondering about the picture at the top, you’re not alone.
Update: If you’re into that sort of thing, Ryan has a much more relevant wedding picture over here.