February 27, 2005

bring it

This dish washing contest brings joy to the deepest level of my being. It used to be whenever the thought of doing the dishes came to mind, I’d think, “Awww man, my life just took a turn for the worse. I completely did not see this coming when I woke up this morning. If only I could turn back time…”

Now, instead of dish washing being something to do when nobody is around, I wait for Joel to come home, just to announce the fact that he will not be dining on tri-tip for at least another 24 hours. I like to casually saunter by his door, make some small talk, and then off-handedly mention, “Oh, by the way, I just did my dishes, hooker.”

Man, that has to sting.

February 24, 2005

that’s hot

Jamie Zawinski talks about Hula, the new Calendar and Mail server that Novell just made available for free, source code and all:

“…With a groupware product, nobody would ever work on it unless they were getting paid to, because it’s just fundamentally not interesting to individuals.

So I said, narrow the focus. Your “use case” should be, there’s a 22 year old college student living in the dorms. How will this software get him laid?

That got me a look like I had just sprouted a third head, but bear with me, because I think that it’s not only crude but insightful. “How will this software get my users laid” should be on the minds of anyone writing social software (and these days, almost all software is social software).

“Social software” is about making it easy for people to do other things that make them happy: meeting, communicating, and hooking up.”

What kind of sad twenty-two year old still lives in the dorms?

…The kind who thinks working on a groupware server is going to get him laid.

February 23, 2005

the challenge

Joel and I are relatively clean people, but our Achilles of cleanliness has always been the dishes.

Now, we differ on our strategies as to where we keep our dishes while we’re not doing them. Joel prefers to spread them throughout the apartment; the oven, stove, and indeed the toilet tank are all normal and logical places to leave your dishes when you’re done with them. I’ve always prefered the “reverse jenga” method wherein I stack the dishes on the left side of the sink only with the steady hands of a surgeon.

We’ve both grown fond of our new dirty-dishless apartment and so we have entered into a challenge in which the first roommate (AKA Joel or Red) to leave a dirty dish in the apartment overnight owes the other party the following:

The Prize

  1. A Tri-Tip Sandwich from the Firestone Grill located at 1001 Higuera St. in San Luis Obispo
  2. One beverage (alcoholic or non) costing no more than five dollars
  3. A basket of fries.

A prize cannot be claimed unless one follows…

…The Rules

  1. A dish is considered being left overnight if it is found at 8am
  2. Your room is your business. Dirty dishes only count if found in the living room, kitchen, bathroom, hallway, and on or under Chopper 4
  3. The Prize will be doubled if any dishes are found in the toilet tank

The challenge begins…. NOW!

economics

For those looking at purchasing resume paper, I submit to you:

Cost of a 100 pack of 32lb. white resume paper: $9.98 or approximately 10 cents a sheet.

Cost of individual sheets of the exact same resume paper: 8 cents a sheet.

But, uh, the, uh, 100 pack has a nice cardboard box to carry the paper home in.

February 19, 2005

chronophobia

I saw a book at a used bookstore today called chronophobia. First thing I thought:

Chronophobia, fear of time travel.

February 17, 2005

i’m an hr expert

When looking at prospect for filling a recently open position at your company, it is good practice to arbitrarily (completely randomly if at all possible) toss half of said resumes into the nearest waste receptacle.

In doing so consistently you will almost completely eliminate the number of unlucky people at your company.

February 15, 2005

waddya mean restraining order?

I’m going to Los Angeles this weekend to see Don Hertzfeldt(of Rejected fame)’s newest film at a screening of “The Animation Show”, where he will have a Q+A session afterwords. As it doesn’t specify which of the three showings at the Nuart Theatre he will be attending, I sent him a professional rfi (request for information), just like we learned about in my Technical Writing class this quarter:

According to the Animation Show web page, Don will be in attendance at the Nuart Theatre Friday, February 18th for “the showing” and a Q+A session. As there are three showings, I was wondering whether Don would be attending the 5:10, 7:30, or 9:50 showing as I am driving down from San Luis Obispo and would very much like to Q him and hear his A’s.

As an aside, Q+A is 65+81 = 146. So maybe it should be called a 146 session.

Thanks,
Red

P.S.
OMIGOSH I AM YOUR BIGGEST FAN EVER!!!111!!11 i WAS AT YOUR SHOW THREE YEARS AGO FOR THE DON AND BILL SHOW IN SANTA BARBARA AND YOU SIGNED MY REJECTED DVD AND I WAS MANY HAPPIES. IT WAS THE FIRST ONE YOU SIGNED AND YOU WEREN’T SURE WHERE TO SIGN IT CAUSE IT THE WHOLE DVD CASE WAS BLACK, BUT THE DVD WAS WHITE SO I SAID SIGN THE DVD AND YOU DID.

BUT MY FRIEND STOLE IT AND MOVED TO AFRICA AND NOW I AM SAD???//!@1!!!

YOU ARE THE SUPER^%$$%

#1 pHAN
rED

February 13, 2005

xilinx and me hold hands during recess

Me and Mr. Pearson are in the lab right now and got the following error:

# ** Failure: Simulation successful (not a failure). No problems detected.

And that my friends, is how you know you’re working with quality software.

February 11, 2005

i miss michael j. fox

Kelsey: I have an essay due…yesterday
Me: You’re going to have to start running if you’re going to hit eighty-eight miles per hour.

February 10, 2005

the first rule of programming

“If it’s stupid and it works, it’s not stupid.”
-Patrick, no not that Patrick

Powered by WordPress