December 31, 2003

quote of the moment

(23:07:05) Me: so
(23:07:12) Me: knowing nothing about the football teams
(23:07:19) Me: pick the winner and the score tomorrow
(23:07:24) Me: usc vs. michigan
(23:07:42) Heather M.: uhh… USC, 1 billion to 42.5
(23:07:47) Me: hahahahah
(23:07:51) Me: that’s ridiculous
(23:08:00) Me: usc would never allow 42 points

place stamp here

“It appears on 99% of the return envelopes provided by creditors with monthly billings. It’s especially annoying when enclosed in a rectangle drawn in the upper right corner. (What if you miss?) And then…they inform you that ‘The Post Office will not deliver without postage.’ Can we legitimately claim to be a superpower if we need to be reminded to put a stamp on an envelope?”

-Dennis K. McDermott, from the Banished Words List :: 2004

auld lang syne, the truth behind the glamour

Auld Auld, a. See Old.
Old; as, Auld Reekie (old smoky), i. e., Edinburgh. Scot. &
Prov. Eng.

Lang Lang, a. & adv.
Long. Obs. or Scot.

Syne Syne, adv. See Since.
1. Afterwards; since; ago. Obs. or Scot. –R. of Brunne.

2. Late, — as opposed to soon.

So “Auld Lang Syne” means “Old Long Since.” or “Old Long Afterwards.”

I don’t get it….

I think people were originally really trying to say “Old Long Since,” but they’d had one too many new years margaritas.

December 30, 2003

quote of the moment

“A true artist will let his wife starve, his children go barefoot, his mother drudge for his living at seventy, sooner than work at anything but his art.”
-George Bernard Shaw, seen here.

i can just see my mom squinting at the screen, shaking her head, and saying to herself “You do NOT let your wife starve. That’s just horrible.”

shatner to release new album

William “Kirk” Shatner has created a follow up to his critically acclaimed 1968 solo album, The Transformed Man, featuring guest musicians including Ben Folds (Ben Folds Five), Henry Rollins (Black Flag), and Brad Paisley (i dunno.).

Rumor has it this record was inspired in part by David Hasselhoff.

Read about it here.

heh.

hey! you’re part of it

Yesterday!

Was quite boring.

But I did accomplish one long term goal. I returned a library book that I checked out some time in august. The original due date was September 10th, so you do the math. Having nothing to do this week I really wanted to go to the library and get something to read, but my fines have grown to the point where that is no longer an option. As of this writing, I owe the Los Angeles public library $52.59. Screw credit cards, it’s library cards that are dangerous. For my aunts and uncles reading this, don’t believe the lies that the elementary schools will tell you, reading is a horribly expensive and life draining habit!

Having gotten that monkey off my back I went home and changed the strings on my guitar, for the first time in four years. I’ve actually been playing quite a lot recently, and the fact that the strings have lost their finish and started to rust finally got to me. I celebrated by learning to play “American Heart” by Piebald.

Inspired by hearing about Lindsey’s new record player [as seen below], I decided to go to Amoeba records to see if I could find some cheap vinyl for a belated christmas gift for Lindsey, and I hit the jackpot. I can’t post pictures now, as it would ruin the surprise, but one of the 45’s is a limited edition with only 1500 out there, and the other is an eaaaarlly recording one of her favorite bands. Good times.

so this post sucked. but I was bored and writing is fun.

December 29, 2003

bitch

I’m on hold right now.

I need to get pictures of my car taken for insurance people. When I called the place that’s supposed to do it, the conversation went something like this:

Her: “Hi, you’ve reached insurance collision center. How can I help you?”
Me: “Hi, my insurance compan…”
Her: “Hold Please”
Me: “[Expletive Deleted], I swear if you don’t let me finish my sentence the next time you see me I’ll have a crowbar in hand.”
(“Songs of the humpback whale” drifting through the receiver.)

Fortunately, the last part was more of an internal comment.

quote of the moment

“When things don’t work, it never hurts to try illogical ideas out and look for logic afterwards.”
-Thomas Stichele of Planet Gnome

December 27, 2003

Christmas Pictures

I took a TON of pictures for the holidays. My two favorite are below:


These are three of my four little cousins all opening presents christmas morning.


Lauren, Shana, my new jacket, and me all at the ice skating rink in downtown San Jose.

If you want to see the rest of the pictures I took, you can check here for the pictures I took in San Jose and here for the pictures I took with my family in Sacramento.

Enjoy. I am too tired to post more.

December 26, 2003

quote of the moment

“If you folded a map of nowhere twice, my house would be where the creases meet.”
-Rachel G.

This is from my freshman year of college. Better late than never.

December 25, 2003

quote of the moment

Kelsey [while reading a children’s book]: “What’s a kweeshy?”
Uncle Brad: “You mean a quiche?”

December 24, 2003

home for christmas…

As of this writing, I’ve already come and gone from San Jose. I drove up Sunday night after work and I learned a couple of things on that drive and over the next few days:

1) If you bring your proof of insurance into your house from the car for some stupid reason, take it outside _immediately_. You say you’ll take it with you next time you go out to your car, but you won’t. Instead, an hour after you leave the house for a long drive you will realize your mistake and spend the next five hours in white-knuckled horror, traveling a maximum of 65mph in a 70mph zone.

2) Fog does not exist exclusively on the coast. Apparently it is actually quite pervasive inland. who knew.

3) The California DMV tells you to not turn on your bright lights in fog. This is _completely_ _unnecessary_. Anyone who has ever tried their brights in fog will quickly discover that fog goes from being translucent to opaque rather quickly with sufficient light. Telling you NOT to turn your brights on in fog is about as stupid as telling you to turn your normal lights on after the sun sets. Instinct will suffice.

4) If it’s your idea to go ice skating, you are NOT ALLOWED to wuss out under any circumstances. Even if it’s raining. Even if said rain has turned the ice rink into a giant glass of Ice water. Especially if you knew it was raining when you suggested ice skating.

5) Ordering presents online a month before christmas is the best decision I’ve ever made.

We opened presents yesterday evening as we are spending christmas eve and christmas in Sacramento. I was more than satisfied with all the gifts I received, the highlights being Simpson’s Season 3 DVD, Family Guy volume 2 DVD, my brand spankin new jacket, and the most excellent pocket watch that Lauren got for me. I finally have a decent time piece.

I will post some pictures later, I can’t now as I am in unfamiliar territory, but for now I end this entry with a mini quote of the moment:

“You should be able to pull 35 out of your butt.”
-Uncle Chris, in reference to the minimum number of points you should be able to get in pinochle.

December 21, 2003

boppin ’em on the head

For reference: “raul” and “gilberto” are rabbits.

Eugene: i was playing with raul and gilberto today and they were crawling on my back. i just looked and i have pee all over my back
Eugene: you want one?
Eugene: they don’t pee on your back or anything
Eugene: one is white and the other is brown
Eugene: which one do you want?
Eugene: i can drop one off today
Brian/Red: no thanks

Eugene: are you sure?
Eugene: which one?
Brian/Red: I’m good
Brian/Red: thanks though
Eugene: just say you want one, and its yours
Eugene: i have papers for them
Brian/Red: maybe if you make them into slippers
Brian/Red: then I’d be down

Eugene: i’ll be there in 30 minutes
Eugene: think about which one you want
Brian/Red: ummm
Brian/Red: I’m going to work
Brian/Red: and locking my doors
Eugene: lauren mentioned she wanted a bunny rabbit the other day
Eugene: she said it would really show that brian cared if he got her one
Eugene: so why dont you show her with 2 rabbits?
(16:01:25) The conversation has become inactive and timed out.
Eugene: you got yerself a deal
Eugene: i know you’re there
Eugene: raul says he don’t like pizza anyway
Eugene: you missed out
Eugene: bigtime
Eugene: gilberto just gave you the middle finger

you too

As Lauren is out of town already and nobody I know is within a stone’s throw of my house, I’ve taken to wearing pajamas when I’m not at work. Doing so is pretty much surrendering to the fact that i’m not going to do a damn thing that requires me to leave my house.

But then yesterday, late at night, I was hungry. And there was no food in the house.

I decided not to change out of my pj’s, I just put on my shoes, threw on my Cal Poly sweatshirt, and went to Chano’s in my pj bottoms. I looked pretty ridiculous.

While I was waiting for my food, an african american gentleman in an oversized Red Sox jacket, oversized pants, and untied shoes started looking at me with an expression somewhere between benign and homicidal. I like to call this particular grimace, “The South Central Smile.” He’s not really mad at anything, but if he looks mean enough, maybe he won’t get mugged.

So he’s looking at me, real slowly just dragging his eyes across me; Starting at my green sweatshirt, past my checkered blue and black pj’s, all the way down to my chocolate brown adidas superstars. His eyes made their way up to mine, and he addressed me:

“nice shoes.”

December 20, 2003

the car that goes boom

For four years I’ve proudly proclaimed that I have never gotten into a car accident. I would haughtily, even smugly, wave it in the face of anyone within an arms reach, confident that I was matched only by an Unser Jr. or perhaps a Penske in my driving ability.

This claim is… no more. My car lost it’s virginity as it made contact with another vehicle for the first time yesterday and though I will spare the details, this picture says it all:

Scratch on my car

Ok, so it’s not exactly totaled. But it made for a crappy evening all the same.

quote of the moment

“i cant smoke in my room cuz of these damn cute bunny rabbits”
-Eugene

December 19, 2003

quote of the moment

“I haven’t slept for ten days because that would be too long.”

“P.S., this is what part of the alphabet would look like if Q and R were missing”
-Mitch Hedberg

quote of the moment

“Why do socks come in a resealable bag?? I bought some at Target and they have this ziplock seal. Do you want to take a few out now and save some for later? Do they need to keep fresh?”
-Aunt Sherry

you shall not pass

Things not to do while watching Lord of the Rings.

1. Stand up halfway through the movie and yell loudly, “Wait…where the hell is Harry Potter?”
2. Block the entrance to the theater while screaming, “YOU…..SHALL….NOT….. PASS!” – After the movie, say “Lucas could have done it better.”
3. Play a drinking game where you have to take a sip every time someone says, “the Ring.”
4. Point and laugh whenever someone dies.
5. Ask everyone around you if they think Gandalf went to Hogwarts.
6. Finish off every one of Elrond’s lines with “Mis..ter Ander-sonnn.”
7. When Aragorn is crowned king, stand up and at the top of your lungs sing, “And I did it…. MY way…!”
8. Talk like Gollum all through the movie. At the end, bite off someone’s finger and fall down the stairs.
9. Dress up as old ladies and reenact “The Battle of Helms Deep,” Monty Python style.
10. When Denethor lights the fire, shout “Barbecue!”
11. In TTT when the Ents decide to march to war, stand up and shout, “RUN FOREST, RUN!”
12. Every time someone kills an Orc, yell: “That’s what I’m Tolkien about!” See how long it takes before you get kicked out of the theatre.
13. During a wide shot of a battle, inquire, “Where’s Waldo?”
14. Talk loudly about how you heard that there is a single frame of a nude Elf hidden somewhere in the movie.
15. Start an Orc sing-a-long.
16. Come to the premiere dressed as Frankenfurter and wander around looking terribly confused.
17 When they go in the paths of the dead, wait for a tense moment and shout, “I see dead people!”
18. Imitate what you think a conversation between Gollum, Dobby and Yoda would be like.
19. Release a jar of daddy-long-legs into the theater during the Shelob scene.
20. Wonder out loud if Aragorn is going to run for governor of California.
21. When Shelob comes on, exclaim, “Man!Charlotte’s really let herself go!”

Stolen from here. Dec 12th entry.

December 18, 2003

mmmMMmmMMmmm

For our belated anniversary, Lauren and I went for dinner and a movie.

Romantic, eh?

For dinner we went to Lawry’s The Prime Rib, which lived up to _every_last_word_ of praise it received from Katie and Isaac. First of all, I would describe the decor as mockingly tasteful, as if Disney had designed it. Chairs and tables were slightly oversized, waitresses scuttled around in wardrobes straight out of the 1930’s, and the men whose sole job was cutting prime rib (and thus were called carvers) pushed around stainless steel altars to meat, some of which, we’re told, have been in use for over seventy years. It made me feel like I was in some old eclectic man’s house, in fact it reminds me almost exactly of the dining room at Hearst castle. That is, if Hearst Castle had the flags from all of the PAC-10 and Big-10 universities hanging from the ceiling. As for the actual food? I can’t speak for anyone else, but it was my ideal meal. If there is a heaven and I somehow end up there, I will eat at Lawry’s three times a day. Warm bread, followed by a salad that they tossed table side, then the best prime rib (medium rare) I’ve ever had accompanied by mashed potatoes, and in Lauren’s case, buttered peas. For desert we had this crazy sampler tray that was just too much, with chocolate cake, creme brulee, a trifle, ice cream with some amazing chocolate sauce and a lemon torte. I was uncomfortably full for at least the next three hours.

Lauren and I wanted to see different movies, but she eventually wore me down, so we went to see the movie she wanted to watch. It was way better than I expected, but there were a couple of scenes where these two straight guys who were best friends were looking at each other in such a way that it made me want to stand up and shout “JUST KISS HIM ALREADY.” It’s possible I was thinking that because I read it in a review somewhere, but I couldn’t get it out of my head.

After all was said and done, it was a great evening and it’s depressing thinking about it as I sit alone with no food and a whole 2 bedroom apartment all to myself for the next three days.

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