I’m on hold right now.

I need to get pictures of my car taken for insurance people. When I called the place that’s supposed to do it, the conversation went something like this:

Her: “Hi, you’ve reached insurance collision center. How can I help you?”
Me: “Hi, my insurance compan…”
Her: “Hold Please”
Me: “[Expletive Deleted], I swear if you don’t let me finish my sentence the next time you see me I’ll have a crowbar in hand.”
(“Songs of the humpback whale” drifting through the receiver.)

Fortunately, the last part was more of an internal comment.