January 31, 2004


Yesterday was not the best day I’ve ever had. I wasn’t able to get to the gym because I slept in too much. Not a day ruiner, but definitely disappointing. The day still had plenty of potential for recovery.

Then I had to ruin everything by showing up for work. Yesterday I did something impressive at work. Most days I’m underpaid, but that just wasn’t enough for me on that particular friday afternoon. No, no, NO! On THIS particular friday afternoon, I managed to actually achieve a NET LOSS by showing up for work. Financially speaking, lying on my couch and timing how long I could hold my breath without passing out would have been better than showing up for work.

“Now, Red/Brian,” you might be telling your monitor, “that’s simply just not possible. If you show up for work, they pay you. Bingo, better off than before.” And normally this is the way it works. But that’s when you don’t have a car. That’s when you don’t get a parking ticket for sixty five dollars.

So here’s what really happened: I walked up to an apartment building with a pizza in hand, and someone on the steps yells at me “Hey Bro, they’re gonna give you a ticket!” I rush out to the curb and inform the parking officer politely through a series of exaggerated gestures and raised voice that I’m just trying to deliver a pizza, but the parking office just hissed through her split tongue that “Itsssss a no ssssstoping zone, Honey.” Which is kind of ridiculous, I’ve never had so much trouble finding a place to park in a supposed “no stopping zone.”

The rest of the day at work wasn’t much better, but I went over to Eugene’s and watched a movie, had fun, and generally deepened the debt I had created earlier that day by deciding to show up for work. This didn’t end my distaste for the traffic officer, but at least I degraded it from a Hate 1 “I’m going to find her and carve ‘I love Michael Jackson.’ into the hood of her car.” to a Hate 3 “You are officially OFF my christmas list.”

But anyway, today I got to the gym, finished some laundry, and things are looking up.


  1. Red, THAT’S hilarious…although I am sorry about the parking ticket. I’m interested in the hate scale, however. Any more on the 1-10?
    Happy superbowl,

    Comment by Rachel — January 31, 2004 @ 9:36 pm

  2. The hate scale is a bit skeletal right now, but so far besides Hate 1 and 3 I’ve got at least:

    Hate 2: If looks could kill, you’d feel a slight stinging sensation right about now.

    Hate 5: If you don’t stop that, I’m telling mom.

    and way down at the bottom:

    Hate 10: You’re still going to heaven, but Duncan McConaugha will be your roommate.

    (Duncan McConaugha was my roommate freshman year. Nice guy, but none too clean.)

    Comment by Red/Brian — February 1, 2004 @ 10:45 am

  3. In ecstatic response:
    THIS is fabulous stuff! A complete hate scale is like, all I want for Christmas…right behind two front teeth and an anonymous skinny Honduran…


    Comment by Rachel — February 2, 2004 @ 8:24 pm

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