March 22, 2005

use the buddy system

As I’ve been suffering from what the Doctor referred to as “Not much pneumonia,” I’ve had the opportunity to be in the Cal Poly Health Center on quite a number of occasions this past month and I’ve read and re-read every bit of propaganda frequently enough that their meaning has begun to evolve as my mind creates alternative interpretations out of sheer boredom.

To me, the most intriguing of the propaganda mixed among the cross sections of the human ear and the 5 signs of rubella was an entire wall that had been placed under the banner: “Love Your Bodies and Your Memories This Spring Break.” Upon my first reading, this was a fairly innocent and bland attempt at getting everyone to sport a raincoat on their week of debauchery, but on my fourth viewing in less than a month, the author’s original meaning was made clear.

“Talk safe sex first, have safe sex later.”

Interpretation: While some would read this as “Be prepared,” it is obviously a recommendation of verbal foreplay.

“Use the buddy system.”

Interpretation: When it comes to sex, two is better than one…

…and three is better than two.

“Remember that ‘No’ means ‘No’ and passed out never means ‘Yes.'”

I swear I learn something new every single day.

No Comments »

  1. three women want to have sex with ug, but ug only has two condoms. ug doesn’t know if he has any stds, nor does he know that the the three lucky ladies are disease-free. how would ug go about having sex with all three so that the possibility of someone being infected is something like 0.02%? (what it says on the wrapper, i think)

    Comment by ug — March 28, 2005 @ 10:36 am

  2. Kill the third one.

    Comment by Anon — March 30, 2005 @ 2:22 pm

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