June 16, 2005

nobody calls me a fizzle and gets away with it

While walking into work I read the headline “Tsunami Warning Fizzles.”

For those who don’t know, there was a HUGE earthquake off the cost of Eureka California ( magnitude seven point OH ) on Tuesday evening that set off a Tsunami warning along the west coast. While those of us who found out were convinced of our imminent death, the news channels wouldn’t have been more excited if Michael Jackson was caught molesting Scott Peterson’s son at Robert Blake’s house.

They were salivating at the death and destruction the Tsunami would bring; there would be countless wrecked houses to stand in front of, cute orphaned children to exploit, and of course the freak house that had been moved 400,000 miles and remained completely intact.

Which brings us to the word “Fizzle.”

Dictionary.com defines Fizzle as “To fail or end weakly, especially after a hopeful beginning.”

The writers for the San Francisco Chronicle had already booked flights to Tahiti for lengthy vacations. With this kind of abundant material they could have brought Ann Killion ( sportswriter for the SJ Mercury ) on and had her write the entire newspaper. With a disaster of Tsunamic proportions, the news really writes itself. All you have to do is report the number of bodies found today, and the new inspiring story of the dog who carried an entire school bus full of unconscious nuns/orphans/puppies back to their church/happy family/pile of dog biscuits.

But then it all fell apart. It was a huge earthquake, but it was the wrong kind of huge earthquake. What all started out so swimmingly ended up fizzling like Woody Allen’s career.

Bonus: Where did the title of this entry come from?

No Comments »

  1. Why Family Guy of course! From the following quote by Peter Griffin:

    “Hey, pal, nobody calls me a fizzle and gets away with it! Except
    for that one guy who called me a fizzle and then he ran off. But nobodyelse has
    ever called me a fizzle and got away with it! Actually thought, he was the only
    one who ever called me a fizzle. But after today, only half the people who’ve
    called me a fizzle will have gotten away with it!”

    THANK YOU

    Comment by Byron — June 16, 2005 @ 9:44 pm

  2. Dammit! Can I edit my last comment? The line was quoted incorrectly. Here’s how it should really sound:

    Peter Griffin: “Nobody calls me a fizzle and gets away with it! Except that one guy who called me a fizzle and then ran off. He got away with it. But most people who call me a fizzle don’t get away with it. Well, actually, that guy who got away with it was the only one who ever called me a fizzle. After today … only half the people who ever called me a fizzle will have gotten away with it.”

    Joel will be on my ass again for not proof reading my statements!!!

    Comment by Byron — June 16, 2005 @ 9:49 pm

  3. This line is from Season 3 in the episode titled “Mr. Saturday Night” guest starring Will Ferrell as the Black Night. A classic among Family Guy fans such as myself. Ok, I’ll stop being a dork now!

    Comment by Byron — June 16, 2005 @ 9:54 pm

  4. Nice!!!

    You win a prize. The black knight episode is one of the classic episodes of all time.

    Comment by red — June 16, 2005 @ 10:19 pm

  5. i was at santa monica beach that day because, well, i don’t listen to the news. i would’ve been prepared though. see, all you have to do is dive through the tsunami.

    Comment by ug — June 17, 2005 @ 3:14 am

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