Lauren and I went to talk to the Farmer’s insurance across the street from us about getting Vespas insured, and met an insurance agent named THOR.

Does “the red-haired and bearded god of thunder in Norse Mythology” spell his name in all capitals; I don’t know. All I know is I’ve always wanted some physical manifestation of supernatural force on my side in case something goes wrong and now both Lauren and I will have it.

What’s that? You’re going to try and steal my Vespa? Go for it, and prepare to have Mjolnir (literally, “that which crushes”) knocking on your back door. When you get hit with most fearsome weapon in the Norse arsenal, you better be damn sure you’re going to feel it in the morning.