March 30, 2007

phrase of the moment

Today I learned:

“To be ‘three sheets to the wind’ is to be drunk. The sheet is the line that controls the sails on a ship. If the line is not secured, the sail flops in the wind, and the ship loses headway and control. If all three sails are loose, the ship is out of control.”

From here.

It doesn’t take an expert on culture to realize this reference is horribly out of date. A recent Gallup poll revealed that no more than 60% of Americans use wind propelled vehicles as their main source of transportation. It’s past time for a new metaphor which dignified peoples may use to divulge their insobriety.

Friend: How you feelin’?
Me: My portfolio’s entirely undeversified.
Friend: I’m sorry?
Me: I’m practicing Dianetics.
Friend: What?!
Me: I’m runnin’ Windows 98 without virus protection.
Friend: Give me your keys.

No Comments »

  1. Now the techie theatre version

    Friend: How you feelin’?
    Me: I didn’t gel my maglite.
    Friend: I’m sorry?
    Me: My prompt book is sitting in the green room unattended.
    Friend: What?!
    Me: I called “Line”!
    Friend: Give me your keys.

    Comment by Kelcium — March 30, 2007 @ 11:40 am

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